I remember the day I put sarcasm on a pedestal.
It was at my first job ever when I was in high school: I was an employee at McDonald’s. I don’t remember who it was, but it was someone I really looked up to, and he said, “Sarcasm truly is an art. You can’t be stupid to be sarcastic. You actually have to be really intelligent.”
In my youthful pursuit of chasing anything erudite, I made the decision then that I had to add sarcasm to my arsenal of nerd-things. And it persisted until pretty recently.
Now, I am not going to say I don’t use sarcasm once in a while. Like anything else, it obviously comes up every so often, but now I am aware of it more when I do use it, and I am definitely more sensitive about the effects it has on others and my heart connections with other people.
I have realized sarcasm is no longer a good fit in my life. It’s a really bad habit that truly does nothing more than separate people by creating heavy, low vibrational energy. Everyone is repelled by this energy, even when at first it seems “cool”. And, yes, sarcasm can seem cool, it can seem funny and intelligent depending on how it is packaged, but, like anything that’s just packaged well, it doesn’t mean the product itself is of any consequence or value.
I realized my sarcasm had gone on way too long when I tried being sarcastic quite a few times in multiple, unrelated conversations, and the sting of the words that came out of my mouth even made me cringe a little bit. I don’t remember what was being spoken about, but I do remember that the conversations derailed in every conversation, and in one or two the people I was speaking with actually walked away.
This was really big for me, because I recalled back to my yoga teacher training in 2012 when we went over the rules during the training, and impeccability of speech was part of the rules. This included no sarcasm and no gossiping.
Sarcasm for me carried an additional weight, and that was the need to seem like I was funny. For me, I am not naturally gifted with humor, and I thought that sarcasm was my outlet to get people to like me. Often times, I was taken out of connection with others when I was constantly in my own head, trying to come up with a funny comeback during a conversation when actually I should have been in generous listening and helping move conversation forward. Like any other teenager on the planet, I just used it to try to fit in with my peers, and it was a habit that was really, really hard to break.
I love how the author Sonia Choquette explains sarcasm in her book Trust Your Vibes: “…sarcasm…is passed off as humor but is really thinly disguised anger or cynicism.”
Who wants to carry THAT around?!
Certainly not me.
It took me awhile to understand the importance of this rule from my teacher training three (almost four) years ago, and it has taken that long for it to land for me. All sarcasm accomplishes is separation between and among people. It exists to disconnect, to place one person above another or others, and carries a low frequency that doesn’t make anyone feel good. Why fill the world with negative energies at all? The more I clean up my lifestyle as a whole, the more I realize that words alone can either pollute or liven up someone’s soul, and pollution of any kind at all should be avoided.
Sarcasm is led by our egos, which is fed by our fears of not being good enough for this world, other people, and ourselves. And this simply isn’t true. It’s the aim of our ego to maintain our veil of fear (created by our amygdala in our brain) because it controls us, and paralyzes us, much like the dead-end conversations I had been experiencing in previous weeks. Why be paralyzed when we are meant to flow free and live lives of inspired action?
So I choose to give up any and all sarcasm. I have chosen consciously to not give in to it. I am polite if someone chooses to use it around me, that is their choice, and I choose to not get upset over it because that would just be letting the energy of the sarcasm in to my blood and bones, and that’s exactly what sarcasm wants to accomplish.
Now, I think a little more before I speak, especially if I sense I am going to say something impulsively. I’m not always perfect, it sneaks in sometimes, but there is great power in awareness.
I make sure that every single word, and every single sentence I say has powerful purpose. Like the quote I heard once years ago, I believe it was Gandhi who said it: “Make sure the things you say follow three rules: 1. Is it necessary? 2. Is it true? 3. Is it kind?”
Number three has been my main focus lately, and generally speaking, if number three is present, then the first two are, also.
Ever since I made my conscious switch away from sarcastic speaking and into the world of empowering and inspiring speaking, I have had conversations move forward in greater ways: I have learned more about people I know and even met new people. Giving up sarcasm and inviting in kind thoughts and spoken words only leaves space for discover within yourself and among the people you inhabit this earth with.
Empowered and inspired speaking is lighter, easier, and of a higher vibrational level than sarcasm, and is the type of words we use to connect with others and grow our circles in a positive way.
We are all meant to be on this planet to help one another, to raise each other up. The best and most powerful way to do that is with our kindest words.
Anything else is just blocking us from our greatest potential as a human race.