There are people in this world who want you to believe in fear. They want you to believe in the threat to your personal safety, to believe that each day could be your last due to someone else’s hand or action. They want you to believe that each moment could be your last due to some horrible, explosive, smoky, and painful demise.
I am here to tell you this is not true.
You are safe. We live in a safe world. A vibrant world. A world where people want good things for themselves, and good things for each other.
Just because the actions of a couple small groups of people can shut down an entire metropolitan European city, does not mean that we give in to fear of any kind.
Here is why you should give up your fear, believe in your safety, and trust that things are going to work out just fine.
You are reading these words.
You woke up this morning.
You have a roof over your head, food on your table, good people surrounding you. You are able to freely go to work each day, earn the money you need for your home and meals. You make time for recreational things: going to the beach, seeing a movie, spending time with loved ones. Going to a sporting event. Hosting a party. Joining friends at a painting party where there’s lots of wine.
You drive a great car. You have a wonderful family. There is always great music at the tip of your fingers on the radio, Pandora, or Spotify.
You have your hobbies, you have your passions.
What more could you possibly need from this world?
I can tell you what you don’t need.
You don’t need the media telling you that your life is in danger.
You don’t need to believe in the negative things other people say and do, because believing in them, taking them in, reacting to them in an uncontrolled way, is letting those people win. Because all they want to do is control you. And you, my friend, cannot be controlled by others, because you do not believe in the presence of fear in your life. You believe in the presence of trust and safety.
All fear does is eat away at our current peace. I used to be that way. I used ot be fearful and believe that at any moment a terrorist attack could occur, or I could get in an awful car accident, or be involved in a bank heist while I am depositing money.
You know what?
None of those things have occurred.
Do they happen?
That’s not my concern, because it is not within my experience.
Here is the funny thing about life: the people who do negative things in the world want only one thing: attention.
If we give negative things attention, then they win.
I don’t mean that the dead shouldn’t be mourned and remembered. Of course that must happen, and does happen.
What it means is giving the names of the groups of people who commit these acts air time in our media and in our conversations, and in our heads. Why even give them a single thought? Yes, they are bad. But when I open my Facebook to see scores of my friends panicking about their own safety and they are THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY from any epicenter of any attack, all I can think is, really? Send the victims love and healing energy, but refrain from soaking it up into your soul, too. Feel for them as you need, and instead of spreading and contagion that is fear, post that you have hope for humanity, and that you see humanity everywhere.
I see humanity every day. I see it when I drive through the city in the form of polite and conscientious drivers. I see it in a morning “hello”, or in someone sharing cafecitos with others in public. I see it in the form of people being caring and gracious with one another, and with the onset of the holidays upon us, I see the energy of joy, love, peace, hope, and generosity seeping into the ether that is among us.
Humanity are those tiny acts that bring us together, the little ones that bring a smile to your face, and are reminders to just be a little kinder, a little more gentle today.
Whether or not you are fearful or trusting all depends on the lens through which you view this world. If you think you are going to be attacked, then you are. If you believe you are safe, then you are.
Our world is a subtly magical place.
Whatever it is you believe you deserve, you get.
When my boyfriend and I first went to the beach together a month ago, it was the first day of a new routine for us. I found myself laughing in the inside at him because as we walked up and down in the surf, I had my shoes off, sometimes walking in sand, sometimes walking in water.
The sand at the beach we were at is not particularly well taken care of. The people who visit the beach do not clean up after themselves and there is no city personnel to clean it. There are bottles, bottle caps, plastic bags, pieces of glass, you name it, it’s there. I find myself picking things up and putting them in the trash bins whenever we go. Our first time there, Al refused to take off his shoes for fear of getting something in his foot. He mentioned this to me, seeing my bare feet, and I shrugged it off. It didn’t bother me, and I knew I would be fine.
Finally, toward the end of our walk, he was complaining of the slope of the beach hurting his ankles and knees, so I agreed to go home. By now he had removed his shoes to feel the sand, but was still worried and overly cautious about cutting himself on something sharp in the sand. I was still barefoot.
There is a low concrete wall that separates the beach from the parking lot, and we have to step over it in order to get to the car. I clear it just fine. Al doesn’t. He hits his toe hard on the solid edge, and when we get home it is black and blue and fractured.
You see, what happens to you is what you believe will happen to you. It’s what you attract to yourself. If that is the energy you put out, that is the energy you will get. It’s as simple as that.
The kinder you think thoughts to yourself and about others, the kinder and more trusting your spoken words are, the more you will receive these things in return. My feet have always been fine in the sand, and I ache to go back every week to put them in the sand and water again and again. It is something I need to feel centered and whole on a weekly basis.
It’s ok to experience fear and insecurity. It is natural, and it is human. When these emotions come up, acknowledge them. Feel them fully. Get curious as to why you are experiencing them. See if there are actions you can take to correct them, whether it’s changing a pattern you have, taking a salt bath, exercising, meditating, listen to uplifting music, cutting out negative people in your life, whatever. All negative things, cut them out. Eliminating negativity in one of the most powerful things you can do to live a powerful and empowered life. When you give yourself space to feel these feelings, see what their root is, and then let them pass through, you no longer hold on to them. Give up these emotions. Holding on to them will only weight you down. What’s done is done, it cannot be changed, but you have the power to change your future course.
Whenever I get a feeling of worry, fear, stress, panic, or anger, I say this to myself, “ I am safe. I am secure. I am completely protected at all times.” I then list, either mentally or written, at least three things I am grateful for. Every time, this works without fail. And if three things are not enough for you, you still detect a little bit of fear within yourself, keep listing gratitudes until it fades away.
Fear cannot exist in the presence of gratitude.
Gratitude is giving attention to the things you love in your life, the things you want more of, because it is the most powerful type of attention we have. It will dissolve fear in a moment.
Be grateful for your safety. Be grateful for your trust. Be grateful for everything you have that creates the perfect life that you are living. Be grateful for all the people in your life who make your life great and wonderful.
Dispel all negativity, and live the life of safe, grateful action you are meant to live.